It was a fine summer morning.

Moe Q. Piggowitz, guinea pig lettuce rancher, strode out of his farm house whistling a jolly tune. He'd been looking forward to this day for months—it was time to harvest the butter-leaf!

But, at the field, his mouth fell open in horror. The lettuce—the brilliant, golden-green, curly-leafed lettuce—was nibbled! Every head!

            "Lettuce thieves!" Moe gasped in shock.

            His father had often told him bedtime stories of such creatures, filling the young pig's heart with terror on many a dreary winter night. Never, never had he dreamed that it would really happen to him, here on his peaceful ranch.

            "Rabbits," he spat. "Filthy, wretched rabbits, mark my words!"

*             *            *

Several other fields had been nibbled during the night. Moe began to follow the trail of destruction, knowing that at the end of it he would find the animals responsible for this awful deed.

At last, on the edge of his land, he made his way down a hill and through a little grove of trees, and there they were: the fiends! Lazing in the sunshine on a creek bank, their tummies full of illicit lettuce.

            The larger one flicked an ear at him as he approached. "Yeah? Whaddaya want?" he drawled.

            "You the rotten cottontails who done nibbled my lettuce?" Moe snarled.

            "Ayup, reckon we are," the vagabond yawned. "Name's Biggs—Biggs Poofy. This here's my partner, Aero Poofy—no relation."

            Moe spat at the rabbit's shaggy feet. "You owe me for that crop you spoiled,” he snapped. “How you aim to pay me back?"

            Biggs laughed harshly. "Pay you back? Don't see why I should pay nothin' to no cavy—" Moe flinched at the horrid oath—"lettuce farmer." Biggs leaned back and shut his eyes again.

"Well," said Moe, "you're gonna pay me back, and that's a fact. I'll be paid for my lettuces one way or another."

            Biggs opened his eyes wide and rose heavily to his feet.

            "Is that a threat?" he asked.

            "It might be!" Moe stepped up and faced the big rabbit squarely. "I don't want trouble, but I won't stand for lettuce thieving!"

            The two stared at each other. At last, the rabbit looked away, chuckling.

            "Let me know when you're gonna do somethin' about it," he said, and lay back down.

            Moe said nothing. What could he do about it? How could he drive these two away, all alone? How could he protect 100 acres of innocent lettuces on his own?

*             *             *

Back at home, Moe headed to the stables. There was only one thing to do: he was going to hitch up the duck team and drive to the capital city. It was far away, but he had to get help from the king and queen. And they would want to be notified of the terrible scourge that had come to their kingdom….

At the city, Moe made his way through the gates and drove along the wide boulevard that led through the city's beautiful catnip gardens, and up to the palace. The king and queen were granting audiences to their subjects when he arrived, and he was soon led into the throne room.

Inside, the majestic couple sat, splendid and terrible, surrounded by jewels and tapestries and richly-appointed scratching posts.

            "Your Majesties, I have news, dreadful news," Moe began.

            The queen glanced up from her washing. The king fixed him with a hypnotic stare, but said nothing.

            Hesitantly, Moe went on. "It's my crops, your Majesties. There are lettuce thieves in the kingdom preying on our most vulnerable crops! Rabbits, Sire, rabbits I tell you!"

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